for those of you who have family members in prison, may i ask you how you personally feel, they have 'changed' while being inside the prison walls - either for better or for worse, and what makes you think that way??

That is an excellent question.

I am a little embarrased to say it, but my husband is currently in jail for a very serious, assaultive crime.

Because my husband had no previous record, he will be home within one year total. I like what he is saying to me now, but I guess it is easy to say how you will change your life while you are in jail.

I am a professional woman, and though it may sound naive, I never expected anything like this to ever be a part of my life. Now I know that bad things can happen to anybody. This is the absolute hardest thing I have ever gone through. I want to give my husband the chance to become the man that he has the potential to be, but I am so scared. I am risking alot by standing by him; the kind of people I associate/work with would be shocked that I find myself in this situation.

I just know that I can't go through this again...if anyone else has found themselves in a similar situation with someone that had no previous criminal record, I would appreciate any insights that you could give.

June111, I have not lived your situation, but I understand. I am a Business woman in Corporate America. Last year, I did volunteer work with Juveniles and that was frowned upon. There's no way I could tell my colleagues or clients I had a friend in prison and it started because I chose to become his pen-pal. We've all heard "Guilt by association." It's not so much guilt as it would be the perception. People don't understand and my career would be in great jeopardy if anyone found out. So, I can empathize with your embarrassment in regards to this situation. Your posting made it sound as though this will be behind you soon. So, someday you can have a laugh. Until that time, people don't need to know because it's none of their business. Hang in there.

Hi June 111 and welcome to WAP.
I cannot speak from personal experience, but my PP was a mother of 3, church secretary, everyday, lawabiding, citizen. Then, she had the misfortune to marry a brute, who terrorized her and her children. Out of desperation (she had called the sheriff) she burned down the house, with him in it, and now she is faced with a 40 year sentence. Prior to this, she had never even had a speeding ticket. But, the state has deemed that she is a menace to society. Naturally, she hopes to get out, but she is embarrassed by her incarceration and feels like she has shamed the family and will never be able to hold her head up in society, if she does get out.
So, you are not alone in your embarrasement. There are many who simply get caught up in the events of life and seemingly lose all control of their fate. As is so frequently quoted, "There, but for the grace of God, go I!" Perhaps we all need to count our blessings, that we are able to enjoy our freedom, and sympathize with those who have lost theirs.
I think that you will find plenty of sympathy and understanding on this site.
Again, welcome to WAP, and we hope that you will join with us often. :-)

__________________
Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly.

Cowards are cruel, but the brave love mercy.

Thanks for your replies.

It is really sad that your female friend ended up like that.

I told a few friends what happened with my husband, and they have never spoken to me since. I was really surprised that they would judge me that way--I had absolutely nothing to do with the crime my husband was convicted of.

I am really glad that I found this forum; I thought that I would lose my mind--feeling like no one understands what I am going through.