No, this time I am not going to post something that is against the rules! *smile*

Since you know what my job is now, I feel I can ask you all for advice on something I have been wrestling with for a few days now.

There is a young man, (20) who is incarcerated. He has only his grandmother, who isn't even on his visitor list because she doesn't understand she HAS to send a picture with her application. Therefore, she keeps getting denied. And, since she's not on his approved visitor list, she cannot send him money, that is IF she can afford it. It's likely she's living on a fixed income and cannot afford to do that.

This young man is sick. He's suffering from Malnutrition, and keeps losing weight. He's being treated for it through Medical, but he's not improving. He's very frail and gaunt looking. And no, he's NOT HIV positive.

Anyway, my question is this.....Do you have any ideas as to what might be done in order to get him some money on his account so that he can at least have something to buy himself some snacks with? A co-worker and I have discussed this and only came up with asking some prison ministries to get involved. However, they wouldn't be allowed to donate money to his account because of the approved visitor list thing, nor would they be allowed to bring anything in off the streets. So, I'm at a loss as to what CAN be done.

This young man doesn't even have money to see the doctor, which is $3 for each visit. I know that the state has to treat him, but I fear that if he gets well enough to work again, or if someone did happen to get on his list so they could send him money, it'd be taken from whatever he might get.

I know I shouldn't be concerned with this. But it's so heartrending to see this kid sick, and with no help.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Gator, that's so sad. I can understand your concern for the young man you've described. I shall wrack my brain to try to come up with some ideas.

Maybe your pal can provide you with the name and phone number or address to the grandmother. If so, you could contact her and help her understand the prison rules and also make her aware of his health problems. I am sure she could find a picture and send it in with the visitaion request. At that point maybe you could help coach her through the process or even send money to her that she can forward to him if she can't afford to help him. Good luck with your pal and please keep us posted.

Is there anyway I can help send this man money? or is that a no no? I would really like to help if I can. we do not have alot of money ourselves but this man needs treatment. If this is not an option I think contacting a prison ministry is the way to go.check it out and let us all know

This is a really tough one becuase you have to be careful not to get too involved as this can cause you all sorts of problemsas I am sure you are well aware. Is he actually eating normal prison food? if people send him $$$ is he going to buy food with it? Is he anorexic? Does his counsellor get involved particularly with the grandmother in helping her with a picture? What is the prison ruling on the steps to take when someone is this ill, if it is life threatening then he should be admitted to prison hospital.

Dear Gator,
This is really sad.
I agree with Gilly.
You can email me at angelfire@comcast.net

I am very mindful of how sensitive this situation is, considering you job.
Diana

sorry one more thing, do you have a prison visitor system if so can you get him on the list as urgent as the company may do him good, and another thing is he suicidal (I ask this because this and anorexia is going to determine how much help he is going to accept or the type of help he needs)?

Gator, I read your post earlier and was thinking about it all day. I have an idea that might be stupid, but I will give it a shot. What if we could get one of us here on the forum to be on his visiting list (unless the rules are strict and only family can visit him) and then we can maybe get a donation from everyone...say a $1 or $2 each. And we can send it to the person on the list to mail out a money order?
Did that make sense? I am not very creative, so thats the only thing that came to mind.
But like everyone else said, be careful yourself and I hope something will be figured out soon.

I'm in...Gator, I iwll be glad to help.$$$
Just let me know what to do.

Actually, I think Xmasangel is onto something. I'd never considered the idea that someone else could apply to his visitor list and we could all donate a couple of dollars who wanted to. That way, he could get the help that he needs as well as getting enough to eat.

To answer some of the questions put forth....This young man IS, in fact, eating the regular meals at the prison. For some reason, Medical hasn't yet approved him for 'Double Portion Meals' as they sometimes do in cases such as his. If he were to go through the chow line more than once, he would be charged $3 plus getting a write up, which they would charge him for. Where would that money come from?

Someone said I couldn't risk getting too involved. That is very true. I cannot risk it because I'd lose my job. However, I feel I can annoymously find him the help he needs. And yes, I did ask him for the phone number to his grandmother so that I could get her to understand that she MUST send a picture with her application in order to get approved to visit him. She doesn't have a phone. However, he gave me the number for her brother so that I could speak to him and explain it to him and he could perhaps get her to understand. I can't be found out about that either, for obvious reasons.

As for the question of his being suicidal or not. I cannot truthfully answer that. I do know that he's in a depressed state. When I pulled him aside to speak to him, he was wary of telling me very much. You could tell that he was very untrusting. I asked him some questions and told him that he didn't need to be afraid of me simply because I am 'the police' where he lives. I told him that as long as he goes by the rules, which he always has since I've been there, he had nothing to fear. I also told him that although I wasn't supposed to do it, I'd do what I could to help him. He said that he'd always had issues with trusting anyone, all his life.

One of my co-workers wants to help him as well. She even gave him her lunch. I would have too, but often I go without eating at work so I didnt have anything. She too, told him that she'd do what she could to try to get him some help. He knew that it would cause us to lose our jobs if were found to be doing anything like this. When my co-worker gave him her lunch, he acted as though he had thrown it away so that no one would know what had happened.

He is truly a sad case. I wish he had someone.....ANYone to count on. Not only for money to get him the food and the attention he needs, but to be his friend. For obvious reasons, I cannot get on his list, send him money (directly) or write him a letter of encouragement.

Like Gobbi, I think it was, I don't have a lot of money to spare. But I do feel I can find a little something to send him to help his cause. I know a donation as small as $5 will allow him to buy a few snacks. That alone would mean he would have at least one night he wouldn't go to bed with hunger pangs.

Perhaps if someone would be willing to be on his visitor list, whomever wanted to donate a dollar or two could get it altogether, and send it to him. Then, maybe a little later I could send that person a little more to send to him. Right now, that's all I can think of that would be possible. Too, if anyone else has a better idea, please let me know.

In closing, I'd like to thank all of my WAP family for all their kindnesses and well wishes. I am honored to be a part of such an awesome, caring and giving group of people. You all have many wonderful qualities that make me proud to be associated with you.