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It's pretty easy to do when you're 'in love'. C'mon, you don't remember what it was like when you first fell in love? I couldn't think of anything or anyone else, and I would have done anything for my guy. Being separated for even a few minutes was excrutiating. Going to work was a torture. OK, it was always a torture, but even more so.

Imagine how much worse someone might feel this if she was in love with someone in the inside. You have to separated almost all the time, and worse, you might feel like everyone's against you and no one understands but you two (not completely wrong). People turn up their noses at you when they find out you love an inmate, you hear stories about how the staff does him wrong, you see the one you love locked up and treated, at the least, impersonally and callously. I'm not saying what these women you're talking about did was right; I'm just saying that love is a mighty powerful emotion and it's easy to be swept away by, especially when you add the feeling that it's you two against the world or that the system doesn't work. Some people just don't have the psychological discipline to stop and pull back things start getting out of hand, or to say no to someone they love, even if they think what he (or her) is asking is wrong.

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Heb 13:3: Remember those who are in prison, as though you were in prison with them. Remember those who are suffering, as though you were suffering as they are.

Maybe the problem is that they don't see it as being wrong? That they are "blinded by love" and do what they feel is necessary - without giving it any thought?

Of course I know what it's like to be in love, that's why I said I can understand bending the rules a little here and there. That's what you might do in any kind of relationship. I was just thinking out loud about women breaking the law on purpose to help out their man and if these women realize they might as well end up as the woman in the link I provided. I don't think she, as a former CO, could ever fathom being an accessory to murder

I do not see it as love,,, I see it as two pea's in a pod ,,, whom personalities are a match which just took the right one ,,,having the right person to bring out who she really was ,,,, an underlying reason she was in the type work,,, CO to begin with,,,a twist hidden under the so called sane frt,,,,,probably a CO who was one of the bad one's to begin with,,,corrupted ...

The word love is meant in many ways,,,,, and needs ,,,, real love does not change a person and who they are,,,,only love based of emotional need or a twist in personalities that needs to be fed by a certain type....which that type so called love, always ends in disaster,,, sooner or later ....

My opinion

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That's true, too. Like attracts like. Of course, some people seem to be drawn towards those who exactly the opposite, the worst people in the world for them. My mother has the worst taste in men imaginable. Well, not as bad as that woman who married the guy who hired a couple of other guys to thrown lye her face, but close.

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Heb 13:3: Remember those who are in prison, as though you were in prison with them. Remember those who are suffering, as though you were suffering as they are.

This thread made me smile, you see i would class myself as normally going by the rules, but when i went on a visit i knew that my friend was NOT ALLOWED to bring anything into the visiting room. Well he did on the second day. It was a letter to me from him. He wanted me to go read it in the toilets. I was thinking i wanted to know what he felt, but i didn't want to be caught as i felt besides it being against the rules, our visits could be terminated or at the least put in jeopardy.
I did take it into the toilet, but as i sat to read knowing someone was beside me it accidentally fell from my hands onto the floor so my next door neighbour could of seen.(smiles) I'm not good at this i thought. I just couldn't read it. So when i went back out into the visiting room i told my friend not to put me in that position ever again, and how that made me feel. He understood and was sorry. I confess, i did walk out with it in my pocket to read at a later time. To him it wasn't such a big deal, he see's it as silly rules and he was only telling me how he felt. Not sending instructions out to make a bomb or anything else for that matter.
Really i think it all boils down to what your thought process is, and what you tell yourself that allows you to give yourself permission to do a crime. Be that murder or skip a red light.

Let me make it clear i would not follow any persons lead into a crime that would effect anyone else other than my own self. I believe i could not harm another by a self serving choice, like murder. To me i will always see another person, not just a crime. Does that make sense? It's just not in me, or probably more to the point, i would not CHOOSE that path, no matter how much love i had for another.

Honestly i can understand how being in love with a prisoner and given the choice many people have taken the risk and opportunity to be with their partner intimately, be that a CO or someone on the outside. But to take a life to please the one you are in love with? that brings on a whole new meaning................

I've seen so much since I've been associated with inmates. I've done legal work for them, I've studied their cases and advised them what could and could not be done. I've even worked as a CO.

In that time, I've seen so many good law abiding people take the wrong path to please his or her inmate love. Where I worked, a CO actually took one of her uniforms in to her lover, and walked out with him at shift change! They were on the run for about three months, before they were finally caught.

During training, some of her letters to the inmate were read. I can see how her thinking became cloudy and why she did what she did. It's something hard to explain, and few believe themselves capable of being drawn in like that. Yet, when it involves the heart and the wisdom of knowing you may not ever be WITH the one you love, or it could be many years, one can take drastic measures without thinking of the conseqences. I think those of us here at WAP who are in love with an inmate should take on the mindset of "But for the grace of God, go I" for we do not know what we might do in the exact situation of another. Sure, we can be armchair quarterbacks and SAY we'd never do something, but we don't truly know how we'd react in any given situation under the same circumstances. Now before you all begin to beat me into an early grave with a wet noodle, let me explain that statement:

None of us are of the same mindset. Some of us handle stresses differently than others. We each have a different set of values and thresholds of what we can and cannot endure. What would send some over the edge, is what others would use to propel ourselves to a higher moral ground. No one can say how they might react in any given situation since our mindsets are so varied. I don't think any of our pp's thought themselves capable of some of the crimes they are doing time with either, but guess what? They did them.

We hear all the time people saying, "I couldn't take the life of another." Granted, I am in that group of people who believe they couldn't take another life. However, if it were someone who'd broken into my home and was a danger to one of my children, you're damn right I'd do whatever I had to do to keep my children safe. That's not to say I'd WANT to kill another human being, nor does it mean that I wouldn't go crazy afterward knowing I'd taken a life. It just means that there are some things you find you'd do, if the circumstances were 'right'.

Personally, I don't think I could ever be one to take a uniform in to an inmate in order to help him escape. Nor do I think I could help him hide if he was on the run. But throw a bit of emotion in there that only I understand, who knows? Take a life for him? Never! Of course, that's easy for me to say, yet again, no one knows for sure how they'd react to a given situation in the same mindset as those who have or do.

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When a friend makes a mistake, a TRUE friend doesn't rub it IN. Instead, like an eraser, he rubs it OUT!

BrokenOne:

As a woman who fell head over heels in love with a man who may never leave prison, I have to admitt(although I know that this will be an unpopular answer!) that I can empathize with the female correctional officer that you spoke of. And I have a great deal of compassion for her, although I can understand that her employer really had no other choice but to let her go.

If I worked at the facility that my boyfriend is housed in, I would no doubt give him special treatment, do favors for him, and even take advantage of whatever opportunities there were to share some intimate moments with him. I don't think that makes me a bad person. Just human! Sometimes, people think with their hearts and not their heads, and it can lead them to make bad choices, without really thinking through the potential consequences.

Unless you've been there, you have NO idea how hard it is to be seperated from the one you love. Not to talk about having to live with the knowledge that he lives in such a creul, unforgiving and dangerous environment, and is treated like dirt! And there ain't a damn thing that you can do about it! And yes. People do turn their noses at you. I say to hell with e'm! Who needs e'm! But sometimes it does get to me. It does hurt.

To be quite honest, if I THOUGHT for even a moment that I could get away with it, I would help him escape in a heartbeat! LOL But I know that it is unrealistic, and wouldn't be willing to jeopardize my freedom for something that I know would never last. EVENTUALLY(if not today, than tomorrow!) we would be caught and punished. And we would probably never be able to speak to/see one another again! It's just not worth it.

The happiness would be short lived. And we would ALWAYS have to be looking over our shoulders. We could never TRULY be free, or enjoy life to the fullest. And my baby loves me enough that he would NEVER ask me to do ANYTHING that would put me in harm's way or jeopardize my freedom. He never has. Not even ONCE!

If my boyfriend or one of my inmate friends were to escape on THIER OWN, would I help them? YUP! ESPECIALLY if it were a death row inmate! I would give him whatever cash I had, credit cards, car, whatever and tell him to RUN as fast and as far as he could! Again, only being honest. I would NOT turn him in, or assist the authorities in ANY WAY.

As for hurting or killing another human being, NO WAY! I know that under the right circumstances(like the one BrokenOne gave about protecting her children from an intruder) we are all capable of it, but I can ONLY see myself doing it if I were protecting myself or the life of someone that I love. I believe that ALL human life is precious, and I would not want ANY part in taking a life. I could NEVER live with myself. Even if I was never apprehended and punished, my conscience would never allow me ANY peace!

This whole topic of conversation reminds me of a story I heard about on a documentary about women who fall in love with inmates. I am sure that some of you may have heard about it? It happened in Arizona, and it ignited a firestorm of controversy over websites like WAP that put women on the "outside" in touch with men on the "inside".

A woman who tried to help her death row inmate husband escape, was shot and killed by a corrections officers(he looked so broken up about the whole thing. Yeah right!) in the process. HOWEVER, when her husband realized that the escape attempt was NOT going to be sucessful, he begged his wife to shoot him. And she shot him in the neck. He died soon thereafter. It was just heartbreaking(I bawled!).

And I also started thinking about whether it was something I could/would do and decided that I could NEVER kill the man that I love more than life itself. But I DO understand what was going through her head at the time. He would have suffered an agonizing, humiliating death at the hands of the "executioner". At least it was quick. Maybe she reasoned that she loved him enough, to want to end his pain and suffering. I don't know. But I really felt for her.

Even sadder still, while it appeared that her love for him was true, the same couldn't be said for him! He had been corresponding with other women, and telling him that he loved them and wanted to spend the rest of his life with them and so on and so forth. All the while leaving out the simple little fact that he was MARRIED! And he also took advantage of her love for him. At one point SHE asked HIM for help(she told him that she was really struggling, and didn't even have enough money for food) and even though he HAD quite a bit of money in HIS account, he refused. Gee, what a prince huh?

Anyway, I guess in short the answer is YES. I DO understand how it can happen, even to an intelligent, well-educated, self-assured woman. Hey, do you all remember the woman(Veronica Compton was her name) that tried to commit a "copy cat" murder, to prove her boyfriend serial killer Kenneth Bianci's(one of the "Boston Strangler's) "innocence"? She was not only very attractive, but also seemingly very intelligent and well-spoken. There are countless stories like these. The things we do for love huh? LOL

You know I can't help but ponder this point. WHY is it that we never hear stories about MEN falling in love with FEMALE inmates, and doing this sorta thing? Hmm!

Lisa

Lisa, why do you find this so hard to believe?
A woman who tried to help her death row inmate husband escape, was shot and killed by a corrections officers(he looked so broken up about the whole thing. Yeah right!)

In a lot of your posts you seem to be so negative towards CO and especially where your boyfriend resides and the Warden their. I know you see things through him and others, but do you ever think you are harsh in your assesment of them, especially from my understanding of you not having visited the institution yet?
I for one think that CO have a hard job, and some do care about the welfare and needs of the inmates, and it is not just a pay cheque, but as in society there will always be those that have there own agenda. Hope you understand what i am trying to say. I am not trying to be nagative towards you as i have seen you have had positive comments, but more than not you seem to look down upon the CO. So it's just a question.

"How can you get so into a man that you lose all sense of common sense?"

How can you get so into a woman that you lose all sense of common sense?


Uhm, to go further, even were I to fall in love I wouldn't try to help her escape. While, after some looking around, I found that women tend to receive more time than males for the same crimes, they did do the crime and actions have consequences. My feelings not with standing, I'd certainly empathize and in some situations sympathize but it's a consequence that "they" must endure.

I suppose that it's a male female issue as I've not heard to many stories of men trying to free their lovers.

As to the guard being forced to kill; I'm quite sure that he was broken up. Having to take a life in the performance of your duty is still taking a life and there aren't to many people that can do that with impunity.