Hi everyone. I am wondering how many of you correspond with death row inmates, and whether or not any of you at some point have questioned or regretted your decision to do so?

I have six prison pen pals, three of whom are languishing on death row. Lately I've been worrying a lot about how I am going to feel and how I will cope when their execution date nears. I just know I am going to be devestated. I feel so helpless, because I know that there is nothing I can do to help them. My friends are going to be murdered in cold blood by the state, and there is nothing that I can do about it.

I'm angry with myself, because knowing how sensitive and fragile I am emotionally, I should have avoided this all together and chosen not to write to those on death row in the first place. But I felt compelled to do so, because I can't imagine how lonely and frightened these people must be. And I thought that I might be able to make a difference in their life. I know that if I were in a similar situation, I would be very grateful if someone extended their hand to me in friendship.

I've grown rather fond of one of them in particular, who is incredibly sweet and funny and I know that I am going to miss him terribly. And I also know that I will be bitter and resentful, because his death is so senseless. He is young and full of life, and would have had many years ahead of him. It's just so unfair.

Anyway, just wondering how other people think and feel about this, and how they've dealt with similar situations? Have any of you actually lost friends to execution? How have you dealt with it? Thanks.

Lisa

im my book the death penalty is sooo wrong, we do not have in it in my country and for the reasons you are outlining as well as the fact it freaks me out I have avoided the whole DR thing

Lisa, i started writing someone on death row recently and thought long and hard before i decided to write not only because he didn't advertise for a pen pal but because of his situation. The more i get to know him the more i am learning, which i am grateful for. I honestly don't know how i will personally cope with his murder at the states hands as i am in no doubt this will happen. When i posted my first letter i was well aware of the choice i made and do not regret it.

__________________
If you are compassionate in your approach to all tasks in life, believing that all "problems" contain valuable lessons, you will find peace of mind.
~Dr. Lee Jampolsky

Lisa, In your post you said that you felt compelled to write do DR prisoners, beacause you thought that you might be able to make a difference in their life. Please know that you have made a difference in their lives, that alone should give you some peace. You extended the hand of friendship to someone whom society has turned their back on. You are a wonderful human being for doing such a unselfish thing for these lost souls. I know as the date approaches you will feel the loss of a dear friend, but know that you have brought happiness and joy and friendship to these folks. This sadly enough is not going to make the road your travelig down less painful, but for the DR inmates they will be leaving this unfair world knowing that someone cares for them and that they are not alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your inmates
Barb

man, anyone who writes a DR inmates has a lot more courage than I...I simply could not get to know someone really well and then lose them someday...

If I could avoid it...I wish I could though...

bookworm, I should have read you post more carefully, I think what your doing is a great thing...Myself, I could'nt write to someone I might lose to death...

Its selfesh for me to feel this way, I know...but I've lost people due to death and would never want to walk into a situation like this...

I can say is you truly have something in you that I clearly don't have and maybe one day I will....

Death is a part of life, but the tragedy is when that life is taken before it should have. I have talked in length about taking on a DR inamte with my current PP. On one hand he thinks it is great that I will be bringing some joy into anothers life, but on the other hand he wants all my attention, and frowns whenever I bring it up.. Personally I know that I am not strong enough to do something like that even though I know that death is a part of life and we are all going to die one day no matter what we do, the senseless killing of a DR inmate would just haunt me. Any one who has the courage to do that has all my respect.

I wrote a Texas death row inmate once for about a couple of months. I found myself recieving so much personal power from this man; so much encouragement. He had a son; he was a father, a son, a brother to someone. Her was a living a breathing human being. I believe everyone has something valuble that I can learn from them. I stopped writing because I felt myself becoming emotionaly attached to this man. It just was too painful to know that this man was confined to a cell 23 hours a day waiting to die. I couldn't handle it any longer. It was becoming too dark and scary for me. How could someone go through this? I would go insane. I figured if I stopped writing, I would spare myself the painful devistation. I still do think of him to this day.

I agree sunnyheart

Death is a part of life, but the tragedy is when that life is taken before it should have. I have talked in length about taking on a DR inamte with my current PP. On one hand he thinks it is great that I will be bringing some joy into anothers life, but on the other hand he wants all my attention, and frowns whenever I bring it up.. Personally I know that I am not strong enough to do something like that even though I know that death is a part of life and we are all going to die one day no matter what we do, the senseless killing of a DR inmate would just haunt me. Any one who has the courage to do that has all my respect.