I have a DR pen pal and I have to say I dont regret it for one minute. He gives me alot of strength, especially right now when I need it, and he is the most selfless person I know, always thinking of others, it amazes me.
I thought long and hard before making this committment, because Once I start there is no backing out. I really dont understand people that start writing these deathr ow prisoners, and then out of the blue stop??? That maybe it was to much of an emotional toll??? This whole writing to DR inmates is no way about me, its about them, about giving them something to look forward to, friendship is a very precious thing to them.

Lisa, I too feel the same way you do. I have been writing to a death row inmate for quite awhile. I have the same fears you do about losing him. He has become a very dear friend.
He and I have discussed his execution, in fact he has told me exactly how it will go down. The one thing that makes it easier for me is that he has told me that he is ready to go. After spending 20 odd years in prison he is tired. Tired of having to be on his guard 24/7. He's wanting a new start that maybe only death can bring him. I wrote to him because I thought I could make a difference in his life. I think I did. What I didn't realize was the difference it would make in mine. I don't regret a moment of the time, tears and lots of laughter that I've put into this. You shouldn't either. Rest easy with the knowledge that you have made a difference in someones life. Joe

Hi Lisa,
I write to 3 DR inmates. Do I regret my decision to do so? Not for a second. Do I worry about it? No, I have no time to be concerned about my decision or the effect it has on me. My only concern is for them, to make their days brighter, to bring a smile to their faces for them to know that somewhere someone cares about them.
Of course I am well aware that my feelings are going to take a hammering one day and I am going to feel their loss immensly. Would I make a differnet choice if I had my choice again? No.

I will be there for them until the bitter end and then I will go get drunk, cry swear at the countries who have the Death penalty and probably choose another DR pen pal. If you ever feel the need to talk my email addy is in my profile.
You are doing a wonderful thing Lisa.

Selina

Hi Lisa, my DR PP was released to the angels this year. At the very distressing time i too went though the "I wish I'd never started this" all the way to "I hate everything American" LOL etc etc. I didnt mean it and i am so happy and thankful that we had the connection we had. There were lots of stays etc but hearing the final date and then working up to the goodbye was one of the hardest things i have ever done. He was so strong, we tried to keep joking right until the end.
I will never regret it.
I will forever be proud of myself for giving all i could and I will forever be proud of him for being the friend to me that he was.
However I could never do it again. It took so much out of me emotionally and I became quite bitter.
Speak to Mo, she has lost several DR friends and has done so with strength and dignity, unlike myself!! LOL
Cheers
dreamer

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"The power of the voice instead of the hand ~ the power of the voice makes him a man"

~Koori prison song~

Hi bookworm and welcome to WAP.
I don't write to anyone on DR, and I have the highest regard for those who do.
I can understand your fear of what is to come, but I suspect that you will be strong when you need to be. Take solace in the fact that you have given your friendship to this person and that no greater gift could be given.
When and if, that sad day comes, be brave for him, and cry with your friends.
I suspect that his knowing, that you care, will give him something, of comfort, to hold on to.
Best wishes.
Dave

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Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly.

Cowards are cruel, but the brave love mercy.

I have got a pen pal on DR in Texas. There was no moment I ever regret it. And he is the only one of my pen pals I save some money so that I can send him a Xmas gift (book) every year. I know that he will be executed (murdered) in the future, although he is still on appeal, but we have to be realistic, his chances are zero. I don't want to think about the final day yet, for me it's far far away.

I write three DR inmates ... one in FL and two in OH ... and we don't exchange thoughts around that subject at all ... I don't (and won't) think about it until I have something I HAVE to think about ...

For me, there is no point stressing about something we're not yet faced with ... we enjoy today for that's all we really have ... I could die in a car crash tonight, but our letters up to this point haven't talked about the day I might die ...

We don't know when that will be so we let sleeping giants lie ... for now.