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General Prison Talk Any and all topics related to prison, incarceration, etc.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06-04-2006, 08:07 PM
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Default can I de-stress

I moved within 10 minutes of the prison that my hubby is at about 2 weeks ago. It is extremely nice to be this close to him but it has been one continual nightmare since. I won't get in to all the details of everything that has happened but a few highlights are:

I had to pawn my engagement ring to get gas money and food.

It took 2 weeks to get a phone, cable and internet hooked up.

I ran out of minutes on my cell phone because I answered it 15 seconds early before my free nights started.

And the biggie is that my last unemployment check was stolen out of my mailbox. I am over 4 hours away from any family and friends.

Thanks to Peggy that I met through these forums--she loaned me a little cash for gas.

I had to get a food voucher from a local church because I had no food.
Now that I know the check was delivered and obviously stolen I am stressing as to how I am going to make it through the week getting back and forth to work. I just started and I hate to have to call in already. It is about 25 miles or so one way.
I honestly felt almost suicidal the other day because of all that has gone wrong since the move.
I saw my baby yesterday and that helped me gain composure again but I am still stressing about getting to work the rest of this week and I wasn't able to pay any of my bills that were due. I wanted to make a fresh start and I am already falling behind.

Thanks for letting me vent some frustration.
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Old 06-04-2006, 08:11 PM
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I wish I could help, I don't have much in the way of finances but if ya just need a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen I am here for you! That is very sweet of you to relocate closer to your man. I hope he realizes what a precious gem he has.
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Old 06-04-2006, 08:27 PM
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are you asking for money?
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Old 06-04-2006, 08:41 PM
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No I am not asking for money!!! I was just unloading some of the stress I have been under the last couple of weeks and trying to get it straightened out in my head before my week starts again and I have to start facing it all over again.
I seriously came close to completely losing it this past week and I have NO ONE at all up here where I am at. I don't have family and I don't know anyone in the area.
All I was looking for was a sypethetic ear to help reassure me that everything was going to be OK. I thought that was what these boards were all about.
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Old 06-04-2006, 08:54 PM
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Everything is going to be Ok.Unfortunatly there are times in your life when you think you can take no more like youre going tru now !! But in a couple of weeks you will look past and think nothing of it.Being in debt and cant pay your bills Sucks but in a while things will straighten out and you will be fine !! Just be strong now so you can laugh about all this later.
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Old 06-04-2006, 08:59 PM
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Gotta keep ya head up - Tupac

Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice
I say the darker the flesh the the deeper the roots
I give a holler to my sisters on welfare
Tupac cares, and don't nobody else care
And uhh, I know they like to beat ya down a lot
When you come around the block brothas clown a lot
But please don't cry, dry your eyes, never let up
Forgive but don't forget, girl keep your head up
And when he tells you you ain't nuttin don't believe him
And if he can't learn to love you you should leave him
Cause sista you don't need him
And I ain't tryin to gas ya up, I just call em how I see em
You know it makes me unhappy (what's that)
When brothas make babies, and leave a young mother to be a
pappy
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
I wonder why we take from our women
Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?
I think it's time to kill for our women
Time to heal our women, be real to our women
And if we don't we'll have a race of babies
That will hate the ladies, that make the babies
And since a man can't make one
He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create
one
So will the real men get up
I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up

[Chorus]

Keep ya head up, oooo child things are gonna get easier
ooooo child things are gonna get brighter

[2x]

[Verse Two:]

Aiyyo, I remember Marvin Gaye, used to sing ta me
He had me feelin like black was tha thing to be
And suddenly tha ghetto didn't seem so tough
And though we had it rough, we always had enough
I huffed and puffed about my curfew and broke the rules
Ran with the local crew, and had a smoke or two
And I realize momma really paid the price
She nearly gave her life, to raise me right
And all I had ta give her was my pipe dream
Of how I'd rock the mic, and make it to tha bright screen
I'm tryin to make a dollar out of fifteen cents
It's hard to be legit and still pay tha rent
And in the end it seems I'm headin for tha pen
I try and find my friends, but they're blowin in the wind
Last night my buddy lost his whole family
It's gonna take the man in me to conquer this insanity
It seems tha rain'll never let up
I try to keep my head up, and still keep from gettin wet up
You know it's funny when it rains it pours
They got money for wars, but can't feed the poor
Say there ain't no hope for the youth and the truth is
it ain't no hope for tha future
And then they wonder why we crazy
I blame my mother, for turning my brother into a crack baby
We ain't meant to survive, cause it's a setup
And even though you're fed up
Huh, ya got to keep your head up

[Chorus]

[Verse Three:]

And uhh
To all the ladies havin babies on they own
I know it's kinda rough and you're feelin all alone
Daddy's long gone and he left you by ya lonesome
Thank the Lord for my kids, even if nobody else want em
Cause I think we can make it, in fact, I'm sure
And if you fall, stand tall and comeback for more
Cause ain't nuttin worse than when your son
wants to kno why his daddy don't love him no mo'
You can't complain you was dealt this
hell of a hand without a man, feelin helpless
Because there's too many things for you to deal with
Dying inside, but outside you're looking fearless
While tears, is rollin down your cheeks
Ya steady hopin things don't all down this week
Cause if it did, you couldn't take it, and don't blame me
I was given this world I didn't make it
And now my son's getten older and older and cold
From havin the world on his shoulders
While the rich kids is drivin Benz
I'm still tryin to hold on to my survivin friends
And it's crazy, it seems it'll never let up, but
please... you got to keep your head up
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Old 06-04-2006, 09:10 PM
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Thanks RoseRed. I just feel like I am in a foreign country up here not knowing anyone and being so far from my family. I go by the prison that David is in just to feel his presence. I know that sounds stupid to a lot of people but we really can feel each other. I have never had a bond like this with anyone. I know things will get better. I get my first paycheck this next week and I make $18.50 an hour so I know once that gets here I will be OK. It is the time between now and then that has me stressed.
I appreciate your kind words.
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Old 06-04-2006, 09:14 PM
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Good to hear you and your man are that close ! Does he still have long to go ? I can imagine you beeing stressed not much to say about it but keep ya head up and maybe the church can you help out again next week!
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Old 06-04-2006, 09:19 PM
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He has anywhere between 3-15 years left depending on whether or not he gets his modification. He is going in to a faith based dorm soon and I know that will look really good to the courts.
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Old 06-04-2006, 09:36 PM
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Where are you living now and where did you move from? Damn $18.50 an hour...pretty good chica, what do you do for a living if I amy ask. Well I am here for ya, just an @aol.com to my name. I know a thing or two about being in debt up to my ears and no money for gas or food. That's how I am now until Thursday when I get paid. It always seems to work out though, I tink it's God and his mysterious ways keepin us on our toes.
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