Hello everyone,i need some advice from all of you lovely people! )

Ive been 'special friends' with an incarcerated man for only 4 months and we seem to have a pretty good friendship,we have had a few hiccups but we've always managed to talk them through and our friendship seems to be going from strength to strength.We do flirt with each other in a nice way and we are affectionate with each other too.He's mentioned visits and im waiting to speak to him anytime now.His letters make me feel good and make me smile and i would hate not to have him in my life.

Anyway,the whole point of this post is that im trying desperately to keep a distance from him and i seem to be failing miserably.In some of my letters im very affectionate and loving and in others-when i have my 'sensible' head on i distance myself from him.His letters back to me tend to mimic my mood also.Then a thought struck me,could i be playing 'games' with this wonderful man even without realising? I really dont see a future as such,he's down for a long time and although his case is under appeal i cant ever imagine him seeing freedom again,i cant tell him this though as i dont want him to lose hope.There's no way i can really tell him how i feel about him as i dont want to be an added complication in his life and i feel that he should put all of his energy into his appeal.

So,any ideas as to what i should do next if anything?

Angel

you need to be honest bout you feelings towards him. although it isnt something her probably wants to hear, u need to tell him the truth!

SMILE

hi i think you should talk with him. Or just give it a bit more time.. maybe you should wait until he calls and see if your feelings are still there? That's my opinion.. Good luck though! We're here for you!! *hugs*

OMG sorry for all the TYPOS.....i mean ****YOUR FEELINGS***
****IT ISNT SOMETHING HE*****

sorry agin.....

Lol,dont worry Baby,i got your gist! p

Tell him the truth?? Hey! She is falling for him, and that is what she is trying to avoid. At least for the time being.
I don't know, Angel. I think that yours is a common problem. Many of us find ourselves with stronger feelings than we ever intended. I think that if you want to keep things under control, you need to take cold showers and keep a stiff upper lip. But, never tell him the truth. I think that, being a man, he couldn't handle the fact that you like/love him. For all that reputation of being cold and aloof, men's emotions(?), urges(?), feelings(?) (not sure what the right word is)begin in the brain, with messages that they see, hear, or in this case read. Then, his imagination takes over. If you tell him the truth, you are going to have a man so "in love" with you, that he can't stand it. He will be howling at the moon. :-)
So, I don't really know what the answer is. I just think that you might be playing with fire. A warm, friendly, fire, for sure. :-)
Good luck.

YES, TELL HIM THE TRUTH.....
"I really dont see a future as such,he's down for a long time and although his case is under appeal i cant ever imagine him seeing freedom again,"
Wasnt saying anything bout her falling for him....
Maybe i should have been a lil more clearer.

I dont know, you seem confused on your feelings, so dont say anything till you know for sure. But if you know there is no possible future with this man, no sense having him believe something that will never happen.

Thanks Dani!!!
the truth, always helps...

SMILE..

Well,to make things a little clearer if im really honest i am 'falling' for him,i dont want to,its not what i planned and im doing my best not to,but its how i feel.Im not a naive young girl,im 33 and i do have some experience with the opposite sex,im just trying to do the best thing for both of us,but as the old saying goes "The heart wants what the heart wants" but for now i'll keep it to myself.

Angel