wake

Yes, that'd be me...my "Pen-Pal" and I connected almost instantly, we have so many things in common and it's like we have known eachother all of our life. He's definately my Soulmate. And I was always wondering what people mean when they talked about Soulmates OR knowing if it is ment to be...I haven't believed in falling in love trough letters...but I know it IS possible...My guy is in Ad Seg too, with a Release date of 2028, so it's gonna be a while....oh, almost forgot...you were asking what we were doing when we noticed that we're falling in love...well we both knew pretty early on, that this is not something that happens every day like that, even though it happens a lot but we had Coincidences that we just haven't been able to ignore, you...something we haven't had control over. So well we have told eachother about how we felt about the same time. I held his letter in my hand staring at the words: I LOVE YOU while I had sent him a letter out the day before saying I LOVE YOU.
Now if I would have had felt at any moment that I would have had control over the love I felt for him, I would have chosen not to fall in love with an inmate, because it is probably the hardest thing I have EVER been trough but the same time it is so easy, because you just love and it is so tender and pure. So unconditional but desperate....well ... so that's how it is for me :) AND I can say for HIM too!

it's nice to know other people are feeling how im feeling, but honestly, his family is so parallel to mine, we are literaly the same people lol, and it frusterates me because i took law in college, and for what he did, he would have gotten 5 years MAX, probally less, up here in canada, and he caught life. i am just really torn on how to deal with this! but glad to know you feel the same way, thanks!

Unfortunately there is NO RECIPE for dealing with it. From what I have learned in that short time, a good start is be true to eachother, real and communicate effectively. Take it ONE DAY AT THE TIME. I understand what you're saying regarding ...WHAT IF.... I am originally from Germany and I sometimes think...well he would have gotten maybe 10 or 15 years there but there he is, incarcerated for the last 19 years with 16 more to go..., but yet, he AND I feel blessed because at least they haven't killed him. So I just want to say, whenever you need to talk, I'm here. Good luck to you!

Originally Posted by wake

it's nice to know other people are feeling how im feeling, but honestly, his family is so parallel to mine, we are literaly the same people lol, and it frusterates me because i took law in college, and for what he did, he would have gotten 5 years MAX, probally less, up here in canada, and he caught life. i am just really torn on how to deal with this! but glad to know you feel the same way, thanks!

Hi there

I think some PP's have had these type of experiences and the only advise I can give is go with what you really feel you can handle. If he has a long time to serve, ask yourself(I dont mean tell me)do you think you can wait for him, how it will impact your current situation, will he ever get out and if so will you live with each other, do you want children and all those things. Then you aslo have to think about mentally how to cope with someone who is far away with all the restrictions that you have placed on you both. LOL Thats assuming his feelings are the same which I guess they are.

Go with what you feel you think is right for you both and how you can handle it if it went wrong. I speak from experience so just writing out all the things that I had to think through.

I always think writing to someone is an intimate thing to do and of course can lead to these types of feelings if that person would be right for you, regardless to him being locked up. It s not a normal love situation but normal is boring anyway - lol. Some things are just meant to be.

All the best and I hope you can work through it for you both.

Hey guys, I'm in the same boat but my story has a couple differences that make everything crazy. I was wondering if there are any places similar to this where there are people that i could actually email or something to talk /ask questions/ get advice (well their opinions not advice cuz i only follow my own heart lol). Hopefully I can find another person either conflicted like me to talk with or someone with experience that can maybe ....I don't know give me some tips. I have a few questions and concerns but I'm also completely in love, but it seems like a contradiction. And there are a couple other small issues so anyone have any info where I could go I'd love to hear from you, thanks so much

You're not the first and you wont be the last.

If he has no out date, and you are as young as your photo suggests, this is a huge commitment to make. Can you live without touching him for the rest of your life? Can you forego having children? Can you financially manage on your own and support him too? Lots and lots of things to consider.

Hi guys, add my name to the list of "I love and inmate" lol. rangers angel, hunnie just like you I have many fears and questions unanswered. Firstly, I am 15 years older than my guy, who says that age doesn't matter but I will be 63 when his parole comes up (55 now). I just hope and pray that he doesn't need a sick bucket when we eventually meet. I am listed on his health contact forms to receive information about him as he has MS, and also I am waiting to be put on his visitors list, but it will take me a lifetime to save to visit and stay in the States I am really learning a lot about him now, and have even been given the privilege to be asked to write to his daughters to introduce myself. The biggest shock I had recently was when I offered to publish some of his poetry for him on Hub Pages, only to find that Hub Pages unpublished them as duplicate. When I followed the research that Hub Pages suggested it pointed me to another womans blog page who it would appear he fell in love with in 2009. I have written to him about this and asked him to be honest, it is two weeks now without a reply and my heart is sinking by the day. I just hope that I haven't been used. So to all you lucky guys to have found true love, I envy you and wish you the best of luck with all my heart. Nette xx

Life's too short so we should all do and be the best we can by living each day as it's our last.Love life and live it to the full.And if you have that special someone in your life,just love each other and enjoy life's journey.Laugh also,don't forget.lol.

For blue star - awwww what a jerk!!! im so sorry, i am also alot older than my guy but i always like em younger lol my ex husband is only 28 and im 45 so at least this guys mid 30's but since i posted my last thoughts i've made some decisions & i'm pretty sure they are the right ones, well hope it was something else that has him not writing, u never know right?

Originally Posted by engelchen

Yes, that'd be me...my "Pen-Pal" and I connected almost instantly, we have so many things in common and it's like we have known eachother all of our life. He's definately my Soulmate. And I was always wondering what people mean when they talked about Soulmates OR knowing if it is ment to be...I haven't believed in falling in love trough letters...but I know it IS possible...My guy is in Ad Seg too, with a Release date of 2028, so it's gonna be a while....oh, almost forgot...you were asking what we were doing when we noticed that we're falling in love...well we both knew pretty early on, that this is not something that happens every day like that, even though it happens a lot but we had Coincidences that we just haven't been able to ignore, you...something we haven't had control over. So well we have told eachother about how we felt about the same time. I held his letter in my hand staring at the words: I LOVE YOU while I had sent him a letter out the day before saying I LOVE YOU.
Now if I would have had felt at any moment that I would have had control over the love I felt for him, I would have chosen not to fall in love with an inmate, because it is probably the hardest thing I have EVER been trough but the same time it is so easy, because you just love and it is so tender and pure. So unconditional but desperate....well ... so that's how it is for me AND I can say for HIM too!

Ok..i began to write to a prisoner in england, living only 10 miles from the prison he was in. After a month or so i got a Vo but he said i didnt have to use it if i felt unsure. It was Ok, i wanted to see him.
We met and clicked straight away. As months went past, we became close and id recieve a little peck on the lips as i left.
Our feelings grew strong and after a while we both could see we had fallen for one another.
We love each other very much and just over a week ago he proposed..of course i said yes.
Im under no illusion as to how hard its going to be as he is doing a long stretch for murder.
He phones me each week and i see him every 3 weeks. Maybe our love is stronger because, we have fallen for what we see infront of us, hes been honest about his crime and i knew from the start about everything, it was in the news too so i could check it all out.
We didnt have to sleep together to know we want one another, so in that sense to me anyway its a pure and deep love...ill wait for him and be faithful.
I shed tears as i miss him so much and want him here, but each calls dries the tears and each visit, puts a smile on my face and gives me a few hours of wonderful memories that i can think about on the way home and afterwards.

Originally Posted by rangers angel

For blue star - awwww what a jerk!!! im so sorry, i am also alot older than my guy but i always like em younger lol my ex husband is only 28 and im 45 so at least this guys mid 30's but since i posted my last thoughts i've made some decisions & i'm pretty sure they are the right ones, well hope it was something else that has him not writing, u never know right?

My man in prison is only 32 and im now 50...it doesnt matter love doesnt see an age, just a person...so we are similar in age difference to u and your ex