Friendship and Advice Wanted Please.

Honestly? Being on DR does not change my thought on this- asking to have a TV bought for himself on letter 2 is STILL asking to have a TV bought on letter 2 and not something I would do, myself. If I knew the person well (for years) or was involved with them in some other way, sure, I might contemplate those things, especially if it was family, etc. but on letter 2?
For me, it will always be nope on that one. Means you're there to provide something other than what you may have meant to provide which is simply friendship. It's because there are others who will value the friendship and not think to ask you for a TV.
I've been asked for things too, so I've been there. And no I don't think you are being selfish/mean/witholding by not buying someone you barely know a TV. Would you do it on the streets for someone you met once? I wouldn't, unless I had TVs to spare. And if you do, that's great. Don't give anything that you can't afford or feel wrong about doing.

Thank you hunnie, you have put my mind at rest. I would not deny anyone anything if I had the money, there in lines the problem. I have decided to write once more, just the general run of the mill things. If he doesn't reply to this last mail, it will be the last. As you mention maybe someone else would be glad of a good friend. Nette x

To be brutally frank, I think this guy might be a user,

To ask for an expensive item in letter two is seriously out of order.

i wouldn't send this guy anything!

before i wrote to R i wrote to someone else. his reply was astounding. he told me flat out that he wanted money and that if i couldn't support him he wouldn't write. so i didn't write him anymore. went on my search for a new pal, found R, and that's where i am now and couldn't be happier. helping him with the money to get a TV after having written for a while would be one thing. buying one for him outright without even knowing him? no indeed not.

Thanks peeps, you have all confirmed what I already thought. I just felt so sorry for him on death row. xx

Careful about "feeling sorry" for anyone in this venue. More than likely they put themselves in there, AND, they don't really thrive on your pity but do thrive on your friendship.
I have a lot of empathy for any suffering that does go on but I know it's not mine to fix. If fixing anything happens because of your friendship, that's great.

Originally Posted by gooddog

Careful about "feeling sorry" for anyone in this venue. More than likely they put themselves in there, AND, they don't really thrive on your pity but do thrive on your friendship.
I have a lot of empathy for any suffering that does go on but I know it's not mine to fix. If fixing anything happens because of your friendship, that's great.

Thank you hunnie for the supportive advice. At times I am my own worst enemy. This pp told me that he had requested death row, because he couldn't face life inside. He is third on the list in Nevada at the moment. I don't know if he is guilty or not, he was one of three collaborators and reading the court documents, there was a lot of mixed up evidence. I know that prisoners can request death instead of life, but I just can not get a handle on this guy at all. Nette xxx