Sharing an old Blog, "Why Do I write Inmates?"

This is something I wrote a while back, and I thought I would share it with you all.


Sunday Feb. 27th , 2005


As I sit here, enjoying my morning caffeine, I am focused on two things; finishing this letter to my pal and the thoughts that keep racing through my mind as to why I write inmates. So, here I find myself, making my journal entry about those very thoughts.


Many people, family and close friends included always ask me, “Skye, why do you write inmates, after all that you and your family has been through?” Some family members would even say I do it, just to annoy them, as they are not fond of it. Some would swear I feel I am on my own mission to save the world, one person at the time. I guess they find it disappointing when I reveal I have no cape, or wonder woman costume to save the world in. I suppose, if I look at it the way they do, I may not feel inclined to write. My family have had really good times, and my family have had really bad times. I know we are not the only family in the world, and I know there are many others who may have the same bad luck, which isn’t the greatest thing to have.


We have had it all, house robberies, murders, rapes. Just as we have been recipients of such crimes, we have had family members commit such crimes. I guess we have an all around dysfunctional family. I know I may make it sound like it’s not a big deal, but believe me, all that we have been through has really done damage to our family. It has never been an easy road for us. Some of the things that have happened have nearly torn my family apart; somehow we find the strength to pull together and move past whatever comes our way, believe me that is definitely easier said than done.


When it comes to the questions, especially “how can you write someone who is in prison for doing the things that have torn you family to shreds?” It all comes back to everything I was ever taught by my Dear Father. Forgiveness. I come from a religious background, and believing in our Faith has been an important part of my life, as well as my family’s life. We are taught to forgive and to turn the other cheek. It is not always easy to forgive and it doesn’t always happen over night, but none the less, when you forgive and release the anger built up inside, you will find yourself in a much happier place in life. You can not live in the present and move toward the future if you dwell on the past. I believe that people deserve a second and even third chance. If we turn our backs on those in our society, in my opinion, we are turning our backs on ourselves. A community is not made of one person, a community is made of several hundreds even thousands of people, if we turn our backs on one another and don’t offer each other forgiveness when we stumble or fall, no matter how bad we mess up, we are only holding ourselves back.


When I select a prisoner to write, it is a long process. I debate over it, sometimes do research on the person, it is a long process for me to select the one, as I want to make sure I have selected one who will appreciate my time and effort and friendship. I write them because I know that they are in a dark place, maybe the darkest place they have ever been before in their lives, and for some, there is no turning back, they will be where they are forever. For some, they in cages for up to 23 hours a day, if not longer. Yes, I am aware they committed a crime, and that they are not all angels, they never claim to be. They are human, and deserve the right to have friendships just like we do in the free world. We communicate through letters and those letters are often times priceless. It is amazing what sunshine I see each time I open my post office box and have a letter from one of my friends. I am not a lonely or desperate person, as some may claim; I am not a pathetic person for writing my pals. I think it makes me a better person. I am giving someone a chance at friendship, love and sunshine. I see this as a form of rehabilitation for my pals. They have a chance to learn to be friends with someone, that they may never have had before, a chance to build a relationship (speaking of friendship) with people that they may never of had. Writing is a way of releasing things that are built up inside of ones person, so in a sense, I consider it therapy for the soul. A way to release the things be it inner demons or anger or whatever the case may be, and move past it.


It does take time when you select a pal to write. Friendships and trust don’t come quick, at least for me. At first, it is just a getting to know you type thing. Your friendship and love grow as time moves on, for me neither are instant. When I speak of love here, I speak of love in the friendship form, even that takes times to develop. Just like, for instance, when you are growing up, you know your family love you not because they tell you or say it with words but because they show you in their actions. All of which take time.


I spoke to a friend about this very subject today and he said to me that he was happy to see I cared enough to write. He is a former inmate. He said there are times when letters alone can give someone life in a place where life is nearly lifeless. So, I know from experiences that I must be doing something right, or at least something to make a difference.


There are times when I have been asked, “Don’t you care about the victims family?”. Yes, I do. I know that for every inmate I write that there is a victim or a family out there who are in pain. I pray for them. I hope that in time they can reach a point in their lives where the tragedy that has occurred to them no longer defines who they are as a person, but makes them stronger and gives them the will to move on. I know for me personally, once I did that in my own life, I became a much better person. I know that each and every person I write has deep remorse for their actions, if they didn’t, I simply would not write them.


Maybe no one else sees this the way I do, I don’t expect anyone else to. I just wanted to get this all out of my mind before it pecks away at my brain all afternoon. I don’t expect my journal entry to open the doors for anyone or close them for others. I am who I am and a part of that is a person who writes inmates. I can see where people would oppose the idea; think it is not fair that an inmate should have the right to correspond with people. Prison is not meant to be a torture camp, although in many cases that is what it really is, it is to be a place where one can be rehabilitated. Rehabilitated is just a word in camouflage when it comes to the prison systems here in the states as it is. I see very little rehabilitation going on inside the prisons. I think personally that those who write inmates are helping inmates build a solid sense of self respect and who they are or what they have become. Some may not see it that way, but I do. Everyone deserves another chance to become something they are not, and if I have remotely given my pals the encouragement to do just that, then I have accomplished more than I ever sat out to do, and that thought alone gives me the encouragement to keep writing.