A Diary in the Raw

Choosing. Isn’t that weird? Making a choice out of hundreds faces.

After a quick look around, I would like to write to all of them. Just to tell my support, tell them they’re not alone, people out there are thinking of them. But in order to get the things well done, I have to set a couple of criteria…

The interesting thing in this whole adventure is that it obliges you to be introspective. Let me get myself clear, I’m 45 and considering knowing myself pretty well. But in this particular case: how far am I willing to go? Initiating such an exchange is like throwing the first domino: you miss the initial push and nothing happens; on the contrary if it works, you might get to the point that you can’t handle anything at all!

Maybe the WAP’s criteria and my personal limits would slow such butterfly effects.
Considering the WAP’s criteria is very easy: female inmate, and willing to correspond overseas, and I’m all set. The hard part would be my personal limits. You might think, as you are reading this, that I’m asking myself too many questions (and you’re right!), But I don’t know why, it really became something important to me, and I can’t take this lightly.

So the most important question is: What am I looking for?
I’m looking for a friendship with someone in need of it. Not looking for love (not closing the door either), someone to write to on a regular basis, to exchange with about anything. Age , size, sentence doesn’t matter (however the sentence leads me to another question: could I have an exchanging friendship with someone who has been convicted for cruelty to children?-I can’t say until I try-)
One more thing to consider is the length of incarceration: could I build a lasting friendship with a woman who will be released in a few months? Will the exchange continues after release? I think that only time will tell…

Have you ever noticed that more or less the ads all look the same? (Here comes the part where I’m going to be judgmental for the once and only time) I do believe in second chance, but when I come across a woman’s ad who says I’m honest and has a list of robbery, forgery and more aliases than 007 itself, I’m just thinking that there is a difference between being non judgmental and completely naive. One thing that makes me smile is the fact that these ladies are all enjoying outdoors, fishing, camping (it might be something cultural so I won’t judge but if they shall all be released I can’t keep thinking the woods will be so crowded).

By the way I don’t love long walk on the beach and I surely am not a knight in shining armor.

Ok! I’m done questioning.
B is the first woman which “clicked” my mind. I took a deep breath and started writing my email to her. Once done and sent vie WAP email service. I realize that I made a mistake in settings criteria and she was not willing to correspond overseas. “Well done!” I thought.

One question again: how many should I write to? How many could I be able to respond in case they answers? I have to be sure that in case they all answer I will not fail them.

So I wrote to S, K and T.

Now I’m here waiting for at least one of them to answer me.

So far, I learned a lot: I know the meaning of stalking the mailman, learned a lot on legal terms, found a community of nice people.

Just missing a sign from a girl overseas. And hoping the best for the things to come…

Waiting…

To be continued...