Private Guy Joe

welcome to WAP!

you'll get more response if you just start posting on the forums since that's where most of us look.

if you have any questions just ask! we don't bite!

What MoxieBravo said.

With one proviso. She and I don't bite. Most of the others don't bite. But watch out for the snarks.

The best way not to get gamed is to not open yourself to being gamed. Concerning money: it is NOT a prerequisite that you send people in prison money that you meet on WAP. "Some" of them start acting like "if you're not going to take care of me" or, "I thought you were my friend" or, "things are hard in here" and all of these are signs that they thing you should send them money in a complicated thought process which states that pen pals and/or men that want to write to women "need" to give them money. False. It may be their mentality that says that but it's not what you have to do at all.

I am female and write to men and I've had it tried on me but I stopped it dead by doing the following which many people do not like but it works for me. In my first letters, I say something like "been around the block on this, had the game tried on me, not in it for that" to let them know that I am not here to be sending money, and won't be sending any. Gifts are a different matter. If you want to send gifts or just help out or indeed to get close enough to anyone to want to send them money that is of course a different matter but I'm talking about the people who, on letter 2, decide that you should be their ATM. Stop them by stating your boundries, which are, "I would love to brighten someone's day with my letters but will not be providing any finincial support..." Trust me there are ways to do this without sounding rude or sounding like you are accusing them of money grubbing. Stating a boundary is NOT accusing someone, it's merely stating your stance. It's kind of like a mission statement, why you chose to write to them, what that includes, what it doesn't include. Show that you're not naive and you won't be taken for naive. And no, not everyone is out to "take" you in the first place. But to be real, there is a bad attitude out there among some with the money stuff, so it's up to you to be wise on it.

You may get people not write back to you a few times because of it. Oh well. You also may get someone who says "oh thank goodness because I really wanted to write and not have to worry about all that".... I did.

Gooddog is right, of course. What I've also done is when both of my pen pals asked why I chose them, I told them one of the many reasons was that they did not appear to be looking for somebody to take care of them. That kind of let them know, indirectly, my feelings are. Just use your common sense. There are users everywhere, in and out of prison.