 Re: I am Insulted!
If a friendship or pen-pal relationship is established and the inmate asks for help, or the 'Extras', that is one thing. Now... if the offender responds to the first 'intro' letter with commissary lists and or demands, that is a totally different thing, and quite honestly if a friendship is starting of with this type of prerequisite it is no "FRIENDSHIP" at all.
I just got off of the phone with my pal and I asked him what he thought of this happening after the first letter and he told me that if an inmate is starting off this bold it is only going to intensify, and he sees this crap all day long, and in the end the person who just wanted to help is now the one hurt.
If you meet a new friend at a bar, or a club and they start telling you what they need and providing a list of it with prices, you're probably going to look at them with a WTF look on your face.
Now, if you've known that person for a minute and they tell you, "Hey I need help paying my cell phone bill" , or "I don't know what the heck I am going to do, I've got no gas in the car and I don't get paid till Friday" Then you're more inclined to help because you know this person and know they are not running game on you.
Now... there is a difference in necessities and extras in prison. The necessities are provided and have to legally be provided. Anything else is 'extra'. Yes, it is nice to have the extras and nice to have someone to send them, but come on... asking for them straight off the rip? No, I am not down with that, and I can understand why others are not as well. I believe if someone is going to assist in helping with the extras the first step should be made by them, at least until there is a comfort level between the two that exceeds that of a pen-pal.
Many DOCs see it this way too. In some states you have to be on the inmates visitation list in order to send money and/or care packages. In return, in some states you have to be on the inmates visitation list for them to send you personal belongings or gifts made in the craft shops or art they make in their cells, even paintings and drawings for that matter. Some states even have advice as to how much money you send in. The average is anything over 20$ is suspicious. And many states have a limitation as to how much can be spent at any given time, and I agree with the state's decision on that.
Of course there are exceptions... shoes, TV's, typewriters, fans, etc... but should you really be discussing those large purchases in the first few letters ?
I think that the DOCs are taking a logical approach with setting restrictions.This will restrict the number of problems that can and do arise when sending money and gifts so early on.
Lets face it... we all know scams happen and there is NOTHING WRONG with questioning the requests for money and gifts, especially after the first few letters.
__________________ Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. Mahatma Gandhi |