 Re: Met while incarcerated relationships
No one is anti relationship some of us highly discourage getting involved until release and taking it very slow . A lot of people who have become romantically involved with a convict have been very badly hurt,deep in debt and broke with out friends or family to help .
Prison romances are discouraged for a lot of reasons one is we confuse love for infatuation. . Another you do not have anyway to know that person out side of letters , monitored phone calls and visits in a controlled setting . When they are all on their best behavior . . You have no idea what is going on .
You cannot see how they really act in all kinds or real life situations . Unlike the freeworld where in relationships we have to be able to tolerate all the things each of us do that annoy us . and the stresses of a the freeworld . . There is little talk of finances , what to do on vacation who does what chores around where ever you live . Thins like dirty clothing hanging around how neat or not neat a person is . all those things that we have to deal with . You cannot possibly see how some one locked up will really act in all kinds or real life situations .
These relationships have a 95 % failure rate before the incarcerated party leaves prison never mind them having a chance in the freeworld .
Trust is near impossible. How can you trust when you cannot know what is going on . take some ones word for it .? How do you do that when they are incarcerated miles often thousands of miles from you and you cannot just drop in to say hello? In fact this is why the scams are sometimes very lucrative and successful .
I saw a a good amount of guys playing a number of women . They knew that those women did not have any way of knowing they were running game on them and had a few others writing and sending money . . This is even more common on Death Row . For the new people I did a long bid TDCJ part of it on Polunsky .
While I personally do not encourage using online dating sites at least you can call them and see them in uncontrolled where you can see how they act in all kinds of situations . . You can see things that send up the warning gs something is not right .
In the freeworld you can see signs and rad body language that are cues and clues to there is something not right . Some choose to ignore them and become badly hurt . I see there are people who will hurt you in the freeworld too . Yes but you are much more likely to meet on in prison where the majority of the population did something to get there . Some are repeat offenders who do not plan on changing any time soon . Some are not . Unless you make the effort to check and research your pals history you will not know thiey are repeat offenders . .
Yes prisoners are human but if you are locked up you have lost the things that come with of being in the freeworld .having relationships is one of those things that come with being free . . I try to imagine having a relationship from prison . I can't seem to do it . I can do this because I did time . I just cannot see it working out most of the time .
By writing accepting a few calls if you can afford it , sending them things such as photos maybe books once in while you are treating them as human . By offering friendship and encouragement you are treating them as human . We do not have to be come romantically involved to treat convicts as human . |