 Re: Met while incarcerated relationships
Aww Quint I do not think anyone here is a relationship hater, we do see over the years many are so convinced they are in love, and devastation of emotional and financial. .Just try to keep things in a fair balance, not fun to see someone you get to know, so crushed and feeling embarrassed,(which they should not).
Many inmates too, as well as the outside pp, first have to build trust in one another while the one is incarcerated, inmates also for good reason are not quick to trust.
One way to prepare is have the inmate, sign to agree to have his medical and mental sent to you. This should match up to letters and what you see in time writing.
Try to get to know his/her family, if they have one left. This too gives good insight.
If all still seems to be real, then still take things slow both of you, not just one of you. Do not put all of you into it no matter how hard, keep an open mind that it could fall either way in the real world, that you may in the end be good friends at the least.
Pitfalls, may go back to old habit or friends type that is negative, trouble adapting to rules of the world and behavior patterns that is used inside which does not work outside those walls.
Financial if cannot find a job, which then brings frustration to the ex inmate and anger, hard for them to trust anyone fo sometime. Trying to adjust to how the world has changed. They do eat fast, trouble sleeping and remembering things since much more on the plate all of a sudden.
Objective glass's, do not expect them to walk the perfect walk, odd mood swings and somtimes very good at hiding this, since they had yrs of putting up fronts they are pros at it. Do not expect it to be at all the normal of what you have known for sometime.
The prison him is the part that has to be worked out with time, the real him will shine thru if he really wants and is strong enough to find himself again.
He does not even know the real him" until lots of trails and errors. The base is there even in letters, so try to bring it forward with him/her.
Be gentle at the right times, understanding at other times and be their worst enemy at those fatal times, at least to them you are. lol
Kinda like this forum, when it comes to love threads it just depends, on what you are dealing, with from the information you have to work with, on what to say to the poster gentle/understanding or having to say what they may not want to hear.
Peanut and Jon, 2 yrs writing, Jon was incarcerated 13 yrs, since his release, in July wwe are still married 4 yrs later and want to stay that way!!
__________________ This Mod needs a Pina' Colada  l If Your Going Through Hell, Keep Going Winston Churchill |