Hello everyone

We hear all the time that these relationships can be pretty risky (and I agree). And it's probably also true that most of them don't even last before the incarcerated partner gets released.

But there are also quite a few successful ones out there. My own marriage to a former inmate of 13 years is a very happy one and I know of quite a few others who are working out wonderfully. I believe in being objective and thinking with your head first and your heart second. I also believe that TIME has the biggest mouth of all - ie. there is NO hurry. And I'm a believer in preparation, in gathering information and imagining worst case scenarios (without driving myself crazy).

I also know first-hand that the prison part of the relationship isn't the hard part - it's the after prison part that's the hardest. When they are adjusting to the outside again.

So I thought that we could maybe gather notes together.
How can people who are falling for an inmate do to prepare?
What are potential pitfalls to avoid once he/she gets released?
How can we put those objective glasses on without destroying a potentially good relationship?
Why is it important to distinguish between the "prison-him" and the "outside-him"? Because let's face it - no matter how wonderful someone is in letters, there probably is a HUGE difference between those two personalities (which is why it's important to gather information).

This is not intended as a negative thread and it's not intended to stereotype people - let's just stick to the facts. It would be beneficial to get links to resources, personal experience stories.... even statistics to base your claims on if there are any.

Let's help each other