Originally Posted by saphira

Of course we do. [Moderator Edited] My cousin is in prison and she's an intelligent person who was pretty, now has turned her brain to mush and has made herself look 20 years older than she is. She'd destroyed her life through her choices. She destroyed our relationship through her choices. That said, if she ever wants to turn herself around, I'm there for her.

It is a blessing that you are there for her. That is what's important.

I have made really stupid choices too
Me Too Saphiraand I know my family was angry with me because they told me. I thank them for that. Ditto! Coddling, enabling, abetting and worst of all denying that our family member has dragged us down through their behaviour is egregious.

I would not allow a family member to drag me down first of all. I have limits as to how much help I will give a family member from past experiences.

I would not call it "dragging me down" but really, it would depend on the individual and the circumstances of that family and situation to label it like that aI guess.

I know my cousin has dragged our family through the depths of despair and some are no longer willing to help. That's their choice.

I have a family member who had burned their bridges with me as well, to the point where I was no longer willing to help them. My cousin and I are talking about it, she's still not willing to admit responsibility so it's a hard road but we're working on it.

It is so difficult when they are in denial. It is up to you to decide when you are no longer willing to help, what you are willing to do as a family and as an individual. The road is most definitely difficult, long, and laborious.

Bottom line, in my opinion, if the family isn't hurt by their loved one going to prison for something they did and then don't take them on about the hurt they are still in denial.

[i]I really could not respond on that right now unless I was in that situation. To me, some things are not easily spoken about or qualifies fo rme to make an opinion on unless I am in that situation experiencing it at the time.


[Moderator Edited]

Well, I feel angry about my cousin's choices that split our family apart and [Moderator Edited]