1. e4 e5
2. f4 Ne7
3. fxe5 g6
4. d4

Forensic nursing? Is that as in: post mortem? ...or only sometimes?

(Now, where's a suitable thought for the day?)

A guy has just died and is standing at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through a big book to see if the guy is worthy. St. Peter goes through the book several times and furrows his brow. "You know, I can't see that you ever did anything really bad in your life, but you never did anything really good either. If you can point to even one really good deed, you're in."

The guy thinks for a moment. "Yeah, there was this one time when I was driving down the highway and saw a giant group of biker gang members assaulting this poor girl. I stopped, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, walked up to the leader of the gang and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned and yelled at the rest of them, 'Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson!'"

St. Peter, impressed, says, "Really? When did this happen?"

"Oh, about two minutes ago."