What’s up? I think this is wild. I freakin hate prison – being locked away! Who cares about us undesirables that are paying with hard time? So much time wasted, sitting alone in the shadows, going over and over in my mind all I’m missing out on, could be, could have done. What the hell is wrong with me?! What does it mean to be worthy? Is it even possible to connect with someone? Or is it just wishful fantasies to convince ourselves? Do I even deserve to know? It drives me crazy when movies show people finding love – then it ends after 2 hours. What the hell!
Crazy, but friends say I’m “good luck”. Who the hell cares! I’m just a lasciviously exotic man lost in my thoughts (some dark), locked away with nothing or no one; being punished like everyone. All I know: We die alone, but life can be so much more, yet human life begins on the far side of despair.
Happily I’m a dominant man surrendering to the dream of holding someone close, comforting them and listening as they get things off their chest. But for now – I’m tortuously doing time, wondering and asking myself: Is any of this even worth doing and are there others out there wondering as I do/
It seems we are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse. Let me know what you think. I could use a friend and a laugh.
Yours,
Francisco